DIY Relocation Part 1 – Area Selection

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Emma

It wasn’t long ago that the only people who used relocation consultants were large international companies who wanted to make sure their top people were looked after when taking on new roles overseas.  It was (and still often is) viewed as a large expense and the preserve of only the most senior executives.

The relocation industry is now growing swiftly, with all sorts of services available – from one man (or woman) home search specialists or buying agents, through to large companies of a similar size to that of the corporate giants they deal with. The service of an expert is now being recognised by a wider range of people; busy professionals, investors and celebrities, but is it really worth the cost?  DIY relocation is possible but what are the things you should look out for?  This is the first in a series of articles looking at the different aspects involved in relocation.  The information contained in these articles should equip you with the nuts and bolts you need to do it yourself.  Of course, if you’d rather have someone take the hassle and stress away, you could always consider using a relocation company to help :o

The first topics we’ll cover are area selection and choosing a school – you can’t do one without the other, it’s a bit chicken and egg – but if you research these two topics in tandem you’ll come up with the right answers – eventually.

Area selection:

The first thing is to decide upon the broad geographical location which is right for you and your family.  In order to do this, you will need to take the following into account:

  • Transport requirements – how will you/your partner be getting to work? How will the children be getting to school? How long do you want these journeys to take?
  • Lifestyle requirements – what do you do in your free time?  Would you like to be near a park?  Would you like easy access to theatres and the facilities of a city, or would you be happier in suburbia or a more rural setting?  Make a list of the things that are important to you and your family, put it in order of importance to identify areas where you’d be prepared to compromise.
  • What can you afford?  How far do you need to be from your place of work to be able to afford something nice/big enough?  The property experts will be able to tell you, but how do you know where to start?  The following website is useful – it tells you which stations are within your preferred commute time of the central London tube station nearest to your work. It also tells you the average house prices in the area: http://www.commutefrom.com/.  The property portals will also give you an idea – draw a search area on a map (Rightmove.co.uk makes this really easy).  Research online and find out where the best (and worst) neighbourhoods are and check them out on Google Maps Streetview where you can have a virtual walk around the area to get a feel for the surroundings.
  • Schools: You can then assess where the best suitable schools are across the geographical area you’ve chosen.  There are education consultants who specialise in helping people with this (such as http://www.bowker.org.uk/), or if you want to do it yourself, there are websites like these, where you can find out the information you need:

Department for Education: http://www.education.gov.uk/performancetables/

OFSTED: http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report

For independent schools: http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk

How to choose a school:

There are many different types of state school as well as independent schools in the UK.

The first thing you need to do is decide what your schooling needs are (private v state, international baccalaureate v UK system, etc.).    Although the affordability of Independent schools is a factor to be considered, the real advantage of these for relocating families is that places can be secured in advance without an address whereas the Local Authorities handling state school applications often require not only an address but proof of residency, before allocating a school place.  To help you make the best choice for your child, the following link provides some information on each type of school, both state and independent, and their admission procedures:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/ChoosingASchool/DG_4016312

Once you have pinpointed a geographical area, and the most suitable schools within it, you can move onto the next step which is to start the application process for a school place:

State schools

The admissions criteria for state schools are set by the school’s admission authority.

Once you have narrowed down your list of preferred schools, you then need to contact the local authority for each one and find out if they have available places and/or the likelihood of your child getting a place – different schools have different criteria and there is no guarantee that you will get a place at your preferred school as many schools receive more applications than places they have to offer.

Now you need to find a property.  Only when you have an address can you apply to a school for a place.  Follow your local authority’s advice about whereabouts in the borough you can live in order to qualify for a place in a particular school.

A word of warning: There can often be one excellent school with a selection of undesirable ones surrounding it – the best approach is to choose a geographical area with a concentration of reasonable schools, and in that way hedge your bets.

Finally, bear in mind that there might be deadlines.  Entry years to school, whether that is starting school for the first time or moving up to the next stage, often have deadlines by which applications have to be submitted. These vary across Local Authorities so always check with the Local Authority responsible for admissions in the area you are moving to. All other applications are classed as ‘in year’ and dealt with on an ad-hoc basis.

N.B. Although admissions criteria vary from area to area and from school to school, the School Admissions Code requires them to be clear, fair and objective. The code also has a list of admissions criteria that state-funded schools are not allowed to use.  Here is a link where you can download a copy of the code: http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/adminandfinance/schooladmissions/a00195/school-admissions-codes-and-regulations

Independent schools

Unlike state schools, independent schools decide their own admission criteria.  Not all focus on educating highly academic children, but there is always some form of selection. Some schools only accept children who will be able to keep up with a fast moving curriculum, whereas others will cater for children with more average abilities or specialise in helping those in need of more individual attention in a less academic environment.

The first step if you’re going for independent education is to speak to your chosen school(s) and find out if they are accepting admissions.

Some schools will require a child to sit a formal entrance test whilst others prefer to have the child in school for the day for informal observation and to ensure a good social fit with future classmates. The content of tests vary depending on the age of the child and the selectiveness of the school. Some will use standardized verbal and non-verbal reasoning tests, others will have their own tests in individual subjects. It is common to be tested in English, Maths, Science and a foreign language for entry mid-year to a Senior school.

If they pass this stage, many schools will then want to interview your child and will ask for a report from the Head of your child’s current school.

The following link provides further specific information to help you choose a UK independent school: http://www.emetis.com/primer/choosing.htm

Choosing a school for your child is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make as a parent.  When relocating with your children to a place you don’t know, it can put even more pressure on you to get it right.  If you follow our guidelines above, you will at least have a fighting chance!

We have also written an article about relocating to the UK with children which covers other related topics: http://www.executiverelocation.co.uk/?p=248&option=com_wordpress&Itemid=39, as well as assisting in a BBC online press article about the topic of “Uprooting children without damaging education”.  The article can be viewed by clicking on the following link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-16422840

The next article in the DIY relocation series: Finding your perfect property, will be published shortly.

If you have any further questions, please either post them here, or visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post it on our wall.  We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!

Posted in DIY Relocation, How to make your relocation go smoothly, Relocating to the UK, Relocating with children | Leave a comment

What makes Britain Great – Part 6

Posted on January 15, 2013 by kirsti

The sixth in a series of snippets about what makes us Brits a bit special.  Here we talk about the original hand held convenience food:

6. The Cornish Pasty

Although Pasties are loved in many far flung corners of the world these days, they are believed by many to have originated in Britain, specifically Cornwall, where for many years they were the daily meal for the miners who worked the tin mines.

A Cornish pasty is essentially meat, onion and potato baked inside a pastry parcel which is crimped along one edge to form a crust.  This is what the miners would use to hold the pasty in order to eat it.  Since the miners hands were dirty (and often tainted with arsenic which was found in tin mines) the crust would not be eaten but dropped to the floor – some superstitious miners believed that this fed and therefore placated the mine “gremlins” who would otherwise cause them mischief and mayhem.

The miners wives would stamp the miner’s initials into the bottom corner of the pasty and according to ancient recipes, the true Cornish way to eat a pasty is to hold the crust and  begin to bite it from the opposite end to the initial, so that, should any of it be uneaten, it may be consumed later by its rightful owner.

Pasties have remained a favorite food in Britain for hundreds of years and these days there are fast food chains which specialise in them.  You’ll find a stall dedicated to homemade pasties at most local fairs, they are for sale in virtually every corner-shop, supermarket and petrol station and come with many different fillings.

I hope you have found this article useful. If you have any questions about this or any other articles on our blog page please either post them here, or visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post them on our wall. We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!

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The pub – one of our great British institutions

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Emma

Like the rest of our blogs, this is aimed at non Brits – people coming into the country with little or no prior knowledge about the UK or it’s culture.  If you’ve visited the UK before you’ll find this article very basic, but if you’ve never even heard the word “pub”, let alone visited one – read on.

British pubs aren’t famous the world over for nothing! The ‘local’ (as we call it) is the backbone of social life throughout most of the country, serving pints of real ale, lager and cider alongside continental beers, wines and spirits. They are embedded into our culture as deeply as drinking tea and eating fish and chips.  So, what is the attraction?  Why has the pub become such a great British Institution?  Well, since I’m a pub lover myself l can probably answer your questions.  If I don’t cover them all, at least I’ve had fun doing the research :o

Definition (courtesy of The Free Dictionary): Pub – a building with a bar and one or more public rooms licensed for the sale and consumption of alcoholic drink, often also providing light meals.  Formal name; public house.

There are more than 50,000 pubs in the UK (although this number is in rapid decline).  In many places, especially in villages, pubs are traditionally the focal point of the community.  In other less rural settings they are a place to meet up with friends, read the paper, watch the football or simply buy a drink on your way home.  All have to be licensed by their local council to sell alcohol and each premises’ licence is specific to them dictating the hours during which alcohol can be sold. Generally speaking, pubs sell alcohol from 11am to 11pm on week days, later on Friday and Saturday nights although licensing times can vary considerably – it is not unusual in town centres for pubs to be open until 2am or later.

There are many reasons why pubs are so popular with us Brits.  Here is a list of the attractions (in no particular order):

Atmosphere
Most pubs generally have community of their own as well as people dropping in and out on a more transient basis.  The owner, tenant or manager (licensee) of a public house is properly known as the “pub landlord”.  It is the landlord who manages the day to day operations and is pivotal to the atmosphere.  A warm and friendly landlord will attract a similar clientele and an atmosphere where fellow drinkers talk to each other over their pints rather than keep to themselves.  When punters get to know each other, they generally return and become “locals” or “regulars” (people who frequent a particular pub on a regular basis).  The pub that people visit most often is called their local, but a person’s “local” doesn’t necessarily mean the pub nearest to their home – it is the pub in which they are a regular.

Drinks and Grub
Many pubs are controlled by breweries and beer lovers go to the pub simply for the beer.  As well as bottled beers, and lagers, pubs also have a selection of “draught beers” which are hand pumped from kegs.  Draught beer is often unfiltered and/or unpasteurised rather than mass produced with chemicals and filled with gas.  Although the UK is supposed to have gone metric, beer is still sold in pints or half pints.
There is a selection of other alcoholic drinks including spirits which are sold in measures of  24m, a “double” being 48ml.  Wine is sold by the glass (the size can vary, but is usually specified).  Non alcoholic drinks and mixers are also sold, as well as snacks like peanuts, and crisps.  If you’re hungry and want more than just a snack, most pubs serve hot food – this is often the lifeblood of a pub as the profit margins can be high.  The best traditional pubs serve simple, unpretentious food, referred to as “pub grub”. There will usually be a menu, or chalkboard listing what is available – it’s generally reasonably priced, ordered from the barman with your drinks and then delivered informally to your table when it’s ready.

Entertainment
There are a few games and pastimes which are synonymous with the pub.  Pool, darts and dominoes are all traditional games played,  and there are leagues where regional and national competitions take place between pub teams.  If you like competitions, many pubs also hold a weekly “pub quiz”, where the punters form small teams and answer a variety of general knowledge questions – the winning team goes home with a prize.  Fruit machines and juke boxes are standard pub paraphernalia and popular ways of passing the time, and many pubs have TVs where sports fans can congregate to watch their favourite teams play live on massive plasma screens.

A few things you might like to know before you visit:

Waiting your turn at the bar: The British like to queue, but the main exception to queuing is in a pub, where there is no obvious line of people waiting.  Instead of forming an orderly queue, people lean against the bar and wait for the barman to serve them in the order in which they arrived.  It is considered good manners to indicate to the server that the person next to you was there before you, if they were.  Conversely, it is bad manners to be served before someone who has been waiting longer than you, even if the barman asks for your order first.  We Brits get very frustrated if we think someone is “pushing in” rather than waiting their turn – so be warned!

Children and alcohol restrictions: The age at which people are legally allowed to purchase alcohol in the UK is 18.  If an adult buys alcohol on behalf of a person under 18, they can be prosecuted along with the vendor.  Pubs therefore are generally considered a place for adults, and more often than not children are discouraged.   There are exceptions to this rule though, especially in the summer where many pubs with gardens welcome families (including children of all ages) with open arms.  Pubs with separate restaurants will often also welcome children and provide children’s menus – and often some form of entertainment to keep the little people happy.

We have a smoking ban: It is against the law to smoke inside any enclosed public space in the UK-  this includes but is not limited to pubs.  Most pubs now have an area outside with ashtrays and patio heaters where smokers can gather though, so if you’re used to having a cigarette with your preferred tipple, you can still do that.  you might want to wrap up warm though, even with patio heaters it can get a bit chilly out there in the winter!

So – now you know, you can pop down the pub for a drink to celebrate your new found knowledge!.

Posted in DIY Relocation, Getting Around, How to make your relocation go smoothly, Relocating to the UK | Leave a comment

What makes Britain Great at Christmastime – Part 3

Posted on December 7, 2012 by Emma

The third in a series of snippets all about what makes Britain Great at Christmastime.  Here we talk about one of  the capital’s long standing traditions:

3. The Peter Pan Cup swimming race

Whilst most of us in the UK will be wrapped up warm in our beds or ripping open our presents on Christmas morning, members of the Serpentine Swimming Club will be taking to the icy waters of the lake in London’s Hyde Park.  They will swim a 100 yard course to compete for The Peter Pan cup.

The race has taken place every Christmas Day since 1864 and it later acquired its name because the author Sir James Barrie was a patron of the race – in 1903 Sir James donated the first Peter Pan cup, the same year that his play “Peter Pan” made its’ debut on the London stage.

You must be a member of the club to take part – it also helps to be a little bit bonkers.  Spectators are very welcome and its a fun way to spend Christmas Morning.

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What makes Britain Great at Christmastime – Part 4

Posted on December 2, 2012 by kirsti

4. Midnight mass at St Pauls Cathedral

If you fancy a truly majestic experience then we recommend getting wrapped up warm and making your way through the wonderfully deserted streets of London on Christmas Eve to St Paul’s Cathedral.
As you get closer you will be joined by more and more people until you find yourself in amongst a hushed but joyful crowd upon entering the Cathedral doors.
Once inside, the candlelit Cathedral fills with the soaring sounds of the Choir.  This is simply a perfect way to usher in Christmas Day.
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What makes Britain Great at Christmastime – Part 2

Posted on December 1, 2012 by Emma

The second in a series of snippets all about what makes Britain Great at Christmastime.  Here we talk about the the Christmas markets taking place in the capital:.

2. London’s Christmas Markets

With Christmas just around the corner, it’s time to think seriously about exactly where to find those impossibly thoughtful and unusual gifts you’d like to buy for everyone.  Christmas markets have been popular on the continent for many years and are very quickly becoming a UK tradition too – some of our Christmas markets are now bigger and better than ever, and certainly rival those in Europe.  Amongst a selection of events and entertainment, you’ll find stalls full of gifts even for the most discerning relative, as well as food stands, mulled wine and beer so you can make the whole experience as enjoyable as possible.  Hmmm –  trolling around a load of high street shops or sipping mulled wine at a Christmas market – I know which I’d choose.  So,  where are they all and when can you go?  You’ve come to the right place…here are details of some of London’s best:

Hyde Park Winter Wonderland  (Nov 23 – Jan 6) The biggest in London, with a variety of rides and attractions, as well as two circuses, the biggest outdoor ice skating rink in the UK and loads of stalls to buy presents.  There is a warm and snuggly indoor area where you can warm up if you get a bit chilly: http://www.timeout.com/london/around-town/event/271209/hyde-park-winter-wonderland-2012

Columbia Road Christmas Shopping Evenings (Nov 28 – Dec 19) The independent shops along the charming cobbled streets of Columbia Road open late on Wednesday evenings in the lead up before Christmas – offering an endearing East End alternative from the bright lights and hefty crowds of the West End. You’ll find all the pressie inspiration you need plus the requisite festive refreshments and snacks, live music, entertainment and a few surprises: http://www.columbiaroad.info/

Southbank/London Eye (Nov 16 – Dec 24) For the 4th year running there will be a German style Christmas Market with around 70 wooden chalets situated between Southbank Centre and London Eye. There will be rides, “glühwein” (German Mulled Wine), Christmas music, culinary specialties such as the typical German Sausage “Bratwurst”, gingerbread hearts for your loved ones, roasted almonds and candies too: http://www.xmas-markets.com/southbank-centre-christmas-market-16-11-24-12-2012/

E17 Designers’ Christmas Market (Nov 30- Dec 1) Craft ideas for Xmas, with different designers on each day of the market. There are also cakes, jam and chutney for sale: http://e17designersmarkets.blogspot.co.uk/p/events.html

Belgravia Christmas Sunday (Dec 2 only 12 – 5pm) On Sunday 2 December (12noon until 5pm), one of London’s best-loved villages will celebrate the festive season in style. Elizabeth Street and Pimlico Road will be transformed into a winter wonderland, thriving with festive handmade craft stalls, fairies, balloon modellers, choirs, brass bands and delicious food and drink: http://www.christmasmarkets.com/UK/Belgravia-Christmas-Sunday-London-SW1.html?review=true

Christmas in The City (Dec 1 only 10am – 6pm) Christmas comes to The City – with Cheapside being pedestrianised for a day.  Combine your shopping with a great day out with friends and family in this historic quarter, without the crowds of the West End.  Shopping hotspots; Cheapside, One New Change, Royal Exchange,  Bow Lane, Leadenhall Market and House of Fraser are all running special offers and events all day: http://www.incheapside.com/

I hope you have found this article useful. If you have any questions about this or any other articles on our blog page please visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post them on our wall. We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!

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What makes Britain Great at Christmastime – Part 1

Posted on December 1, 2012 by kirsti

The first in a series of snippets all about what makes Britain Great at Christmastime.  Here we talk about the Great British Pantomime.

1. Pantomime

A truly unique British entertainment which happens every year over the Christmas period all over Britain.  Calls of “its behind you” and “oh no it isn’t” can be heard bellowing out of theatres across the land.  When it comes to genuine audience participation, pantomime is unrivalled and this is what sets it apart from other theatrical shows and musicals.
Pantomimes are based on well known fairy tales such as Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Dick Whittington and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.  Although the performances generally stick to the story lines that we all know, the appeal is in how the story is told – usually with lots of slapstick humour and clowning around.
All good pantomimes will have a goody and a baddy – the goody is often the dame (a man dressed up as a woman) who usually takes control of the show and elicits the audience participation.
Theatres everywhere are likely to hold a pantomime so look up your local box office to find out what’s on or take a look at the following websites:
www.its-behind-you.com
www.tastetheatre.com
If you’re in London then Timeout provide details of all the best Panto’s across town http://www.timeout.com/london/feature/1525/christmas-theatre-in-london.
Whether you are 5 or 95, pantomimes are enjoyed by everyone – this ability to appeal to both kids and adults remains the pantomime’s greatest draw.  Oh No it Doesn’t – Oh yes it does!
I hope you have found this article useful. If you have any questions about this or any other articles on our blog page please visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post them on our wall. We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!
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Funding your dreams of owning a new home

Posted on October 25, 2012 by kirsti

Since the credit crunch hit in 2008, securing a mortgage is like pulling teeth.  Mortgage companies now typically require a minimum 15% deposit, will rarely lend anything more than 3 times your income, and won’t even talk to you unless you have a squeaky clean credit rating.
Many first time buyers simply cannot afford the deposit. Others who own their own homes already but wish to move, find themselves trapped – they can sell their home easily enough but they no longer qualify for another mortgage.  In this situation it’s sometimes possible to port your existing mortgage but this is increasingly difficult to get your mortgage company to agree to.
Amidst all this doom and gloom there are ways through the funding maze via government initiatives and developers incentive schemes – you’ll only get help though if you are buying a new build property.  Here are a few options:
  • Firstbuy is a shared equity arrangement where the Government and the Developer provide a loan (interest free for 5 years) to cover a proportion of the value of the property. Under the Firstbuy scheme this proportion is 20% of the purchase price. The Buyer will be expected to contribute a minimum cash deposit of just 5% themselves. The Firstbuy arrangement will reduce the size of the mortgage required by the Buyer to 75% making it easier to secure funding. Eligibility for the scheme is defined via a set of guidelines, these are mainly financial with the aim of aiding those under a certain income threshold.
Most developers offer incentives in one form or another depending on the location and the type of property they are building.  Some of the most common incentives are:
  • Shared ownership – For those buyers that do not qualify for the government backed FirstBuy scheme there are developers that offer their own shared ownership schemes which allows the buyer to purchase a share in the house (usually a minimum of  25%) and pays rent on the remainder.
  • Part Exchange – A concept pioneered over 30 years ago by Barrat Homes is now more popular than ever and is most often available in developments of family homes. To be eligible you must own your own home and be moving up the ladder – the developer will buy your current home from you allowing you to move quickly and without paying estate agents’ fees.
  • Developers deals - Often the developer will have a special launch weekend at each development where they showcase their show-homes and offer incentives on a first come first serve basis.  These incentives might include:
  • 5% deposit paid – the developer contributes 5% towards your deposit
  • Various Cashback deals are often available
  • Developer loan – the developer will sell you 100% of the property but you pay for a lesser percentage.  The remainder is taken by you as a loan, secured against the property and repayable to the developer.
  • Assistance to sell your current property – some developers will offer to pay your estate agents fees, legal fees, stamp duty, help with removals costs etc.
  • Free Travel Pass into London – I’ve seen these offered to buyers on developments outside of London but within a reasonable commute time.
Developers are coming up with more and more ways to incentivise buyers and seem to be doing everything they can to smooth the way – in fact, some even have a whole department dedicated to helping buyers to secure a mortgage.  So, if you’ve never considered buying a brand new home before, perhaps now is the time to start thinking about it!

I hope you have found this article useful. If you have any questions about this or any other articles on our blog page please either post them here, or visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post them on our wall. We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!

Posted in DIY Relocation, Purchasing a Property | Leave a comment

Would you Adam and Eve it? – everything you need to know about Cockney rhyming slang

Posted on October 22, 2012 by Emma

Coming to London as a non English speaker and conversing with the locals is one thing, but understanding Cockney Rhyming Slang (even as an English speaker) is another challenge entirely.  What is this strange dialect (if, indeed it is a dialect at all)?  Where does it originate? This article investigates these questions further and hopefully provides the answers, as well as an interesting and entertaining list of examples.  So – don’t get yerself into a two and eight thinking you have to struggle along on your tod, use yer loaf and read on:

What is Cockney rhyming slang?
Cockney rhyming slang is when a word or phrase is replaced by a rhyming word or phrase, this word or phrase then often being abbreviated to its first syllable or syllables, or its first word. The word chosen as the rhyme often (but not always) shares attributes of the word that it replaces.
It sounds more complicated than it is – here’s an example:
Bobble (Bobble hat and scarf) – laugh.  “You’re having a bobble”, would mean, “you cannot be serious”.
See – simple!

What are Cockneys?
Cockneys were – and for the most part still are – working class Londoners.  A true Cockney is someone born within the sound of Bow Bells (St Mary-le-Bow Church in Cheapside, London).  Nowadays, the term Cockney is loosely applied to many born outside this area as long as they have a cockney accent or a Cockney heritage.

Why was it invented and how has it developed?
The origin of Cockney rhyming slang is uncertain.  Whether it was a linguistic accident, invented as a game, or a code developed intentionally to confuse non locals remains a matter of speculation.  If deliberate, it may also have been used to maintain a sense of community. It is possible that it was used in the marketplace to allow traders to talk amongst themselves in order to facilitate collusion, without customers knowing what they were saying.  Another suggestion is that it may have been used by criminals.   It would certainly have been an effective code, being completely incomprehensible to anyone eavesdropping in on a conversation.

These days people mostly just use it for a laugh.  Words and phrases are being made up all the time and in many cases the rhyming word is omitted – so you won’t find too many Londoners having a “butcher’s hook”, but you might find a few having a “butcher’s”.  This isn’t always the case, though so Cockney expressions can vary in their construction, and it is simply a matter of convention which version is used.  Over the years, cockney rhyming slang has merged into the mainstream English language – and some of us use its’ words and phrases all the time without even realising it!

Dictionary of Cockney words and phrases
Here’s the part you’ve been waiting for – our list of cockney rhyming slang expressions and meanings.  It is by no means a full list – just an alphabetical selection of the more interesting expressions, including many that have entered everyday language . There are no rude words, derrogatory terms or swear words in this list – despite the fact that these seem to be very popular(!) – we felt it would be inappropriate to include them here, just in case we have any younger readers!:

Adam and Eve – believe (‘would you adam and eve it?’)
Alan Wickers – knickers
Apples and pears – stairs
Attila (Attila the Hun) – two-one (2i, an upper 2nd class UK university degree)
Barnet (Barnet fair) – hair
Barney (Barney Rubble) – trouble, now also means argument
Basil (Basil Fawlty) – balti (curry)
Battle Cruiser – Boozer (public house)
Bird (bird lime) – Time (prison)
Boat (boat race) – face
Bobble (Bobble hat and scarf) – laugh (“you’re having a bobble”, ie., you cannot be serious)
Bowler Hat – Cat
Brass Tacks – Facts (‘let’s get down to brass tacks’)
Brassic (boracic lint) – skint (penniless)
Bread (bread and honey) – money
Brown Bread – dead
Bubble (Barf/Bath) – laugh (‘you ‘avin’ a bubble?..’)
Bubble (and Squeak) – Greek (a Greek person), or a magistrate or judge (beak) or wife (based on rhyming bubble with trouble, from trouble and strife)
Bull and cow – row (argument)
Butcher’s (butcher’s hook) – look (‘give us butcher’s..’)
Canoes – shoes
Chewy toffee – coffee
China (china plate) – mate (‘me old china’)
Christmas crackered – knackered (worn out, exhausted, broken, etc)
Cloud seven – heaven
Coco/Cocoa – say so (see variations below)
Crust (crust of bread) – head
Daisy Roots – boots
Desmond (Desmond Tutu) – two-two (2ii, a lower 2nd class UK university degree)
Dickie Bird – word
Dickie Dirt – shirt
Ding dong – sing song (now evolved to mean argument or fight)
Dog and bone – phone
Duch (duchess of Fife) – wife (‘me old Duch’)
Duke of Cork – talk
Dunlop Tyre – liar
Dustbin lids – kids
Earwig – twig (understand, to catch on – now evolved to mean eavesdrop)
Elephants (elephants trunk) – drunk
Flounder and dab – cab
Frog and Toad – road
Gary (Gary Glitter) – Bitter (the beer, as in ‘a pint of Gary’)
Geoff Hurst – first (a 1st class university degree)
German band – hand
Greens (greengages) – wages (money)
Half inch – pinch (steal)
Hampstead Heath – teeth
Harry Wragg – fag (cigarette)
Hillman Hunter – punter (customer)
Hit and miss – kiss
Holy ghost – toast
Irish (jig) – wig
Jack Jones – alone, (on your own – ‘On your Jack’)
Jackanory – story (tall tale)
Jam jar – car
Jimmy Choos – shoes
Joanna – piano (cockney pronunciation of piano would be ‘piana’)
Joe Soap – dope (stupid man)
Kettle (and hob) – watch (fob watch )
Lady Godiva – fiver (£5)
Lionel Blairs – flares (flared trousers)
Loaf (loaf of bread) – head (‘use your loaf’)
Marbles (marbles and conkers) – bonkers (mad – probably the root of the expression ‘lost your marbles’ meaning gone mad)
Mother’s ruin – gin
Minces (mince pies) – eyes
Moby Dick – sick
Mutton (Mutt and Jeff) – deaf
Nelson Mandella – Stella (the lager beer, typically ‘a Nelson’ would equate to a pint of Stella)
North and south – mouth
Nutmeg – leg (leading to the soccer term ‘nutmeg’, meaning to play the ball between your opponent’s legs)
Oily rag – fag (cigarette)
Old bag – hag (horrible woman)
On the floor – poor
Oxo (Oxo cube) – tube (the London Underground train system)
Peckham (Peckham Rye) – Tie (as in necktie)
Pen (pen and ink) – stink
Plates of meat – feet
Pipe your Eye – cry
Poppy (poppy red) – bread
Porky (pork pie) – lie (fib)
Rabbit (rabbit and pork) – talk
Razzmatazz – jazz (evolved to mean general excitement)
Rhythm ‘n’ blues – shoes (shortened to ‘rhythms’)
Rosie (Rosie Lee) – tea (‘cup of rosie’)
Rubber/rubber dub (Rub-a-dub-dub) – Pub (or club)
Ruby (Ruby Murray) – curry
Sausage and mash – cash
Scarper (Scapa Flow) – go, run away
Skin and blister – sister
Sky rocket – pocket
Sweeney Todd – Flying Squad
Taters (potatoes in the mould) – cold
Tea leaf – thief
Tiddly (tiddly wink) – drink (now evolved to mean drunk)
Thora Hird – third (3rd class university degree)
Titfer (Tit for tat) – hat
Toby jugs – lugs (ears)
Tod (Tod Sloane) – on your own, also alone (‘on your tod’ means on your own)
Tom (tomfoolery) – jewellery (‘Tom’ now means any stolen goods)
Tom and Dick – sick
Trombone – phone
Trouble (trouble and strife) – wife
Turkish bath – laugh
Two and eight – state (‘in a right old two and eight’)
Uncle Dick – sick
Vera Lynn – gin (or skin, meaning cigarette rolling paper)
Weasel (weasel and stoat) – coat
Whistle (whistle and flute) – suit

If you have any questions about this or any other articles on our blog page please either post them here, or visit our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/executiverelocationplus and post them on our wall.  We can’t promise we’ll have all the answers but we’ll certainly give it our best shot!

Posted in DIY Relocation, How to make your relocation go smoothly, Relocating to the UK | Leave a comment

Buying a house at auction – top tips

Posted on October 20, 2012 by kirsti

If you’re looking to grab yourself a bargain by buying a property at auction but you’re new to the bidding process then don’t miss our top tips below.

Finding properties for auction

With over 35,000 properties going to auction every year, offered by hundreds of auction houses nationwide it’s important that you do your research to find your perfect property. The best source of information I’ve found is the Essential Information Group’s website www.eigroup.co.uk which covers the whole of the UK and is recognised as the industry standard for auction information. Alternatively you can search the local and national press, order catalogues from your local auction houses and search through property portals.

View the property

Once you’ve spotted a property that interests you, it’s vital that you go to see it. There are so many things that could affect the property which won’t necessarily be contained within the written details you have access to – noise, smells, neighbourhood, how much work really needs doing etc.

Get an expert’s opinion

The auction catalogue contains all the information regarding the sale, such as guide prices, viewing times and any special conditions of sale. You should appoint a solicitor to apply for and check the legal document pack which includes the searches but no in-depth survey or valuation.

In addition to a solicitor it is well worth considering the services of a surveyor to check the structural condition of the property before the auction – this is especially important if the property is old or in need of modernisation/renovation. The cost of this will be somewhere between £300 and £1500, depending on the level of report you want but in the long run it could save you £1000’s. You wouldn’t want to buy a lemon!

Finally, if you intend to do any major works to the property then you should get a builder to take a look and give you an idea of the costs and practicalities. Many reputable small building firms will provide this “walk round” service for £100 to £200 which many will discount from their final bill if you buy the property and give them the work – When it comes to property and builders there’s always a deal to be done so don’t be frightened to ask!

Arrange finances

Before you bid you must be sure that your finances are in place. If you’re successful as the highest bidder you’ll be expected to pay a 10% deposit straight away and the remaining 90% on completion, usually 28 days (or 20 working days) later. Check the conditions of sale though as it is not unusual for a 14 day completion to be specified.

If you are borrowing money from a lender then you must get an offer of mortgage and their agreement to the strict auction deadlines before you bid. If you are unable to complete on time you will forfeit your deposit.

Know your limits

Buying a property, whether its for your home or an investment, is perhaps the largest financial investment you will make in your life. It’s easy to make rash decisions and get carried away in the heat of the moment if it’s a property you really want. Have a strong word with yourself before bidding starts, set yourself a limit and never ever exceed it – you may regret it if you do!

Bidding

Auctions are not for the faint-hearted. With bidding on each lot lasting on average only a few minutes, once bidding on your property commences, you will have little time to consider things. There is no hard and fast formula to making bids – whether you should start the bidding or wait for someone else to show an interest first, whether to go in high in the hope of scaring off your competition or start very low in the hope that there won’t be much competition – each strategy has its merits. Be advised that the guide price is not necessarily an indication of the property value but more of a reserve price. Lots will often sell for well above the guide price and not usually below.

My advice is to go to an auction or two ahead of time to observe – get a feel for what the process is like and formulate your own strategy ahead of time – this will give you confidence when it comes to your auction!

Unsold Lots

If the hammer falls and a property has failed to sell, which happens when the lot does not meet the reserve price, the vendor will be on the back foot. Speak to the auctioneer afterwards to see if you can nab yourself a bargain!

Posted in DIY Relocation, Purchasing a Property, Relocating to the UK | Leave a comment